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| Some things which have happened in the last week:
- I went to the docs and he gave me some more propranolols yeahyeaa. woo hoo.
- Paid a £12 library fine, owch
- Worked my first shift in the restaraunt, (it's okay if not very exhausting and vexing)
- Bought a new striped jumper which i am very pleased with
- Planned and woggled
- Joked and toked
- Hummed and drummed
boom box mary had a pile o gold she counted her fingers until she got old
she ratted her whip til it was frayed and grey
lived beat flat through all of day
at night got tight and frowned at cats
on street corners howlin, makin scraps
poked em in the eye and scrapedem shin to shin
when at 54 mary got well done in
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| comely ghost children stepping velvet slippers upon brown wooden floors. on their tip toes. silence! my life is so adorned with noiseless ignorance at the moment.
I have no priorities, or things to be done which can even be prioritized. it's great, yet awfully unfulfilling. i feel like he says he does, and i'm not going to initiate anything until he does, and when he does, i'm going to make idle distracted monosyllabic replies. taste his own medicine, you know.
fantastic. i feel like i'm walking the aftermath of lsd barefoot, you know. there's still little anomalies which i can tell my minds dragged back from that night, but its pretty innocent otherwise. i might have 2 drops next time. man, i feel so numb. i still have that festival coming up to go to, and maybe the other one too. and i need. i need something to work well, oh dear! i find solace in how i am pleased with the arrangement of anklets i have on now. pretty neat
i just reread diamond asbig as the ritz.faaaabulous
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| Preparing the set for ages, lying in bed, house to myself;cigarette.
I propped a book open atop my lap, I set out the ashtray aside of my bed, and I left the window ajar. I lie back, chin up, and contemplated; do I need this? Can I quit? Do I really need this cig? It'd help but it's not essential, right? My train of thought was halted by some incessant highpitched vibrating. I saw a thumbsized shadow flicker across my curtains. A fucking bee.
"Fuck off!" I cried in anguish. 'Oi prick! Fuuuuck offff" "Fuck off out of my fucking room!" "Please mate just go the fuck home" "You little wanker climb back out the window all right?" "Fuck off okay?" "MATE. GET THE FUCK LOST" I struggled and got more worked up and found myself embedding swear words into the most innocuous of sentences. I turned to bargaining, looking at the reasonable looking Bee perched on my window sill, still as anything. "Mate, I am just about to spark up and fair play you're not gonna want a whole load of smoke-"The Bee wasn't having any of it and went back to his earlier, airbourne approach. Bumbling and vibrating his shitty little brains out. "FUCK THE FUCKING HELL OFF." That was it, I sparked up, because by then, I needed a cig. That's how they get you.
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| That last post was cringe and written upon a come down,ah
bamramtam i donot know i feel very bad
why am i still all for the boy i was with this time last year when i have the most amazing boyfriend(scrumps)
we are peas in a pod i think? he'd do anything for me maan
i am a french braid because i am gathering more and more parts into a pattern as i go along
i was imagining what i would most like to be doing in the whole world before
ithought about sitting on a pier with my legs dangling over the edge
the pier is overlooking a clear blue lake and i'm in africa
it is about 5.30 and the sun is about to set
i am with three friends, i dont know who, but we all love each other
we are all letting the air dry us up after we went swimming in the lake
my swimming costume is a deep magenta and my hair is wet
i am wearing a knitted rug around my shoulders and we're drinking lemonade from red plastic cups
the sun is keeping our shoulders arm
there are daddy lions on the savanna plains in the distance and we can hear them sometimes
we're all laughing
XXxx
i was with him when i took this
and i hate that photograph
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| i have given my notice in, i quit my job! being a sales assistant is for fabulous bubbly outgoing people who are good with banter. i am shit at banter. i am paid minimum wage, recieving various lectures about how much i need general confidence (chheeers i hadnt noticed) and a few other reasons. probably not going to try for another job any time soon, not worth the hassle unless you are DSC
scrumple face boy as i have, apparently, previously dubbed him, is good. he is really just good. we're just sort of going out now, he is nice, he has nice freckles, he calls me darlin' in a naff way and its funny because his tongue is firmly in cheek and he still has nice floppy hair, and he likes me. i like him. i don't know theres not a lot to talk about, been with each other just under 2 months now. he's my best friend now and we are birds of a feather
cleaned up my actreaally i need to geet my head down and study for some exams, keep scrumples ok
alcohol is the future
also, i have developed a moon sized crush on alex james, oh, alex
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